


Right Next to You

by Leahelisabeth (fortheloveofcamelot)



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Andrew meets Neil in High School, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, POV Andrew Minyard, Separations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-18
Updated: 2020-01-18
Packaged: 2021-02-25 17:14:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22299535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fortheloveofcamelot/pseuds/Leahelisabeth
Summary: Neil doesn’t call.  He doesn’t text.  It’s been an hour.  Neil’s done this before.  He doesn’t like to text until he’s gone to bed, some rule about his mom not allowing phones at the dinner table or when he’s doing his homework.  Even though this is not unusual behaviour, Andrew can’t just hop on the bus and go home.  Something doesn’t feel right.His phone dings, alerting him that he has a text and he flips it open, hardly able to breathe.Neil:Thank you. You were amazing.Andrew has a perfect afternoon and spends years trying to get back there.
Relationships: Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard
Comments: 28
Kudos: 417





	Right Next to You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [puddlejumper99](https://archiveofourown.org/users/puddlejumper99/gifts).
  * Inspired by [More Than This](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22231519) by [puddlejumper99](https://archiveofourown.org/users/puddlejumper99/pseuds/puddlejumper99). 



> This is a sequel to puddlejumper99's fic, More Than This, because I really really needed to know what happened next. I don't know where they got the title, but every time I saw it, I got Peter Gabriel's song, "More Than This," stuck in my head so that's where I got MY title from.

_More than this_  
_More than this_  
_So much more than this_  
_There is something else there_  
_When all that you had has all gone_  
_And more than this_  
_I stand_  
_Feeling so connected_  
_And I'm all there_  
_Right next to you_

- _More Than This_ by Peter Gabriel

Andrew doesn’t want to be worried. This isn’t supposed to be anything. It’s a place to go that isn’t home; a person to see that isn’t his screaming mother who he hardly knows or his twin brother with whom all he shares is a face; a thing to do that isn’t staring at the wall and trying to be quiet.

But Neil is undeniably something, someone. He wasn’t much to look at when they met, with his dull brown hair and nondescript eye color and faded clothes that fit two sizes two big. Andrew wouldn’t have looked twice at him if Neil hadn’t stared down the class bully and whispered something so cutting the other boy had run away crying.

Andrew joined him at the table and refused to leave when Neil told him to fuck off and somehow that has evolved into...this...an afternoon spent wrapped up in each other’s arms. Andrew can’t remember the last time he truly felt safe having someone so close. He’s blocked out the memories from the many foster homes as best he can, although sometimes dark shadows and tearing pain break through his mental blocks. Tilda screams and yells and hits and he does his best to stay out of her way. His twin is confusing, alternating between trying to be a brother, fuzzing out on whatever pills he could steal from Tilda, or just pushing everyone away before they could leave him. But Neil, he respects Andrew’s boundaries, he’s sharp as a razor blade and twice as deadly, and Andrew thinks maybe he won’t be dead by 18 after all if he can just hold onto this one good thing.

He really doesn’t want to be worried but something in Deborah Josten’s face when she saw him puts him on edge. He doesn’t go home; he walks to the closest ice cream shop in the area so he can be back in moments if Neil calls.

Neil doesn’t call. He doesn’t text. It’s been an hour. Neil’s done this before. He doesn’t like to text until he’s gone to bed, some rule about his mom not allowing phones at the dinner table or when he’s doing his homework. Even though this is not unusual behaviour, Andrew can’t just hop on the bus and go home. Something doesn’t feel right.

His phone dings, alerting him that he has a text and he flips it open, hardly able to breathe.

Neil: _Thank you. You were amazing._

It sounds like goodbye. Andrew leaves his ice cream on the table and he runs. The car is gone when he arrives. He tries the door, expecting it to be locked but it swings open without resistance. He runs inside and it’s not immediately obvious because the house is fully furnished and there had never been much of a personal touch inside, but when he reached Neil’s room, he knows. The dresser drawers are empty. The blankets still cover the bed but the pillow is gone. Andrew’s orange hoodie, the one clothing item of colour that he owns, the one Neil had stolen from him last week when he was cold, was lying folded in the middle of the bed, a leather bracelet that Neil wore every day carefully placed on top.

Andrew picks up the bracelet and fastens it around his wrist. He buries his face in the orange hoodie and takes a deep breath. It smells like lazy summer afternoons and Neil. Andrew drops to the ground but doesn’t let himself cry, even when the void at his center grows and beats on the inside of his chest, threatening to burst out.

He doesn’t let himself feel it for long. He stands up and puts the hoodie on. It’s warm but it’s just a piece of cloth. The strand of leather at his wrist feels strange at first but the sensation soon fades and it’s like it has always been a part of him.

Andrew: _where are you?_

Andrew doesn’t really expect a reply back and he doesn’t get one. Neil is really and truly gone.

Andrew knows what it is like now to feel safe. Tilda isn’t safe. He gives her warnings but it isn’t enough to change her. He deals with the situation and Nicky comes into the picture. Things are better, so much better than with Tilda. Nicky is young and insecure and he flinches when people move too fast but he’s also kind and gentle and the best Andrew can do.

Aaron hates Andrew for getting rid of Tilda. He hates Andrew for forcing him to get clean. He hates Andrew but he’s safe and no one is going to hurt him.

Someone threatens to take Nicky away, to destroy this fragile sanctuary that Andrew is building. Andrew loses himself to violence. He saves Nicky but loses himself. He’s empty now. He feels nothing, loves nothing. Life is fast, speeding around him, slow like molasses, an eternity in every moment. He feels everything when the drugs wear off and he misses Neil. It’s time for another dose. He hooks his fingers through the leather bracelet on his wrist and it’s the only thing that breaks through the never-ending haze.

Aaron talks Andrew into joining the Exy team. Aaron’s good but Andrew’s better. When he gets a scholarship to Palmetto State University to join the Foxes, he takes it and drags Aaron and Nicky along with him.

It’s a good thing. It’s such a good thing. Aaron thrives in his classes. Nicky discovers rainbows and glitter and the shy, sweet, ghost of a man transforms practically overnight into someone out and proud and confident and fierce. Andrew even makes a friend, a tall history nerd with a badly broken hand and fear in his eyes.

Something is missing. He gets a new therapist. Her name is Bee and her warmth breaks right through the emotionless fog his medication has banished him to. He’s never told anyone about Neil but sitting on her couch, sweet hot chocolate with marshmallows in his hand, he can’t stop talking about what he’s lost. The open wound begins to heal. When his sentence is up and he can finally leave the meds behind, she’s waiting for him at the hospital doors and Andrew feels the fleeting warmth of a lazy summer day in her embrace. It’s so close to perfect.

Andrew hates Aaron’s new girlfriend. She’s annoying...and tall...and the look on Aaron’s face whenever he sees her is so soft. Andrew wants to scream at him; the softness hurts when it gets ripped away. He tries to drive her away but the stubborn fire in her brown eyes is so familiar that he walks away instead.

He’s a week away from graduation. Scouts are knocking on his door. Nicky is going back to Germany to finally marry the love of his life. Aaron and his tall girlfriend got into the same medical school and they just signed the lease on a new apartment together. They’re all leaving Andrew behind. They don’t need him anymore.

Andrew signs a contract and a lease of his own. His new apartment is cold and empty and pre furnished and he doesn’t know how to leave his mark on a home. But he wants to. 

He comes home one night after a late practice and something is different. A breath of air whispers through the dark hallway and it should be still. Andrew knows he didn’t leave a window open.

He walks into his living room and flips on the light. Neil stands in the corner. He’s different. His hair is red now and his eyes are icy blue. Barely healed cuts and burns adorn his cheeks. A hundred years of running are written in the exhaustion in his eyes.

Andrew doesn’t know what to say.

“I want to be Neil Josten again,” Neil whispers, voice raw from recent screaming.

Andrew nods. He crosses the room and carefully takes Neil into his arms and the missing piece he has been searching for finally slots into place. “Stay.”


End file.
